Monday, May 5, 2008

The Ex-Factor

So we were at a BBQ lunch for a dear friend on Saturday. He happens to be the best friend of my ex. Of course my ex, his wife (the woman he cheated on me with) and their daughter were there. I've run into them before, but never in such an intimate setting.

It really got me thinking that everything happens for a reason, and you can't have any regrets. I spent 4 years of my life with that guy, and I honestly wouldn't change a thing. I was a different person then, but he helped mold me into the person that I am today, and I really like that person.

Part of me wants to thank him. He taught me about God, he taught me to love myself when I really didn't, and his family taught me what a family should be like. I'm not saying anything bad about my parents; it's just different because they've been divorced since before I can remember.

I still have so much love for his family. They're such good people! I think I wanted to love him so much because I wanted to be a part of his family so badly. He's not a bad guy either. He made a mistake, and I think he's as happy as I am now. His daughter is BEAUTIFUL! I mean piercing blue eyes and dark princess-like hair. His wife is really nice. She's due to give birth a couple of months before I am. In another world, Dave and I would probably be good friends with them.

Back then, I wasn't a very strong person. I think I depended on him WAY too much. When we broke up I had to learn how to be me. I didn't really know who that was. It took me 3 years and a lot of "changing" (piercings, tattoos, church, no church, red hair, blue hair and other things you don't even want to know about) to figure out who I was. Luckily when I finally did figure it out I met the man of my dreams. I couldn't imagine life without Dave or Reilly. They're my life, my loves, my everythings. And I think without finding "myself," I wouldn't have been able to open myself up to Dave and love him like I do.

In closing, I think you can finally say you've moved on when you truly wish your ex (the man who broke your heart into tiny little pieces) as much happiness as you have. And I have to tell you - that's A LOT!

1 comment:

Debby Mayne said...

Wow! That's very astute, Carrie!

You really do have a nice life. Although I only met Dave once, I feel that I know him well through all the wonderful things you've said about him.

I think as we mature, we realize some of the things that upset us when we were younger were actually good for us in the long run. That certainly seems to be the case with your ex.